Draft Program

Anarchy in DC Now!

#RunWithRovics

This campaign is a work in progress. What's clear is this: the world is upside-down, and we are going to turn it rightside-up.

Agriculture

My administration's Farm Bill will transform agriculture as we know it. The use of chemicals will be abolished and the use of machinery seriously curtailed. Small family and community organic farms will become the norm, enriching the soil throughout the country until it's all as good as the soil in Homish Country is now. This will be achieved through a combination of land redistribution and a dramatic shift in the systems of subsidies and taxation.

Art

By law, artists will be compensated for actual airplay and receive royalties for gigs that they do. The current system where only the biggest-selling artists get any of the money will be abolished. Local subsidies will be established to foster the growth and sustainability of music, art, theater, cinema, etc. Street performance and public art of all kinds will be encouraged and fostered.

Bribery

My government will pass a Money Is Not Free Speech Act which will ban all financial contributions to political campaigns. All candidates who get a certain number of signatures may run for the office of their choice, and will receive an allotted amount of money and air time with which to run their campaign, which will be the same for each candidate, depending on the office in question. Individuals or corporations attempting to influence the political system through bribery (formerly known as “lobbying” or “free speech”) will be prosecuted and imprisoned for a long time.

Climate

My administration will embark on a four-year plan to manufacture and distribute solar panels sufficient to cover every rooftop in the country, and a windmill for every neighborhood. (In densely-populated areas, the windmills can go on top of the skyscrapers. It's nice and windy up there.) As solar panel and windmill distribution gets under way, all coal, oil and “natural gas” mining, drilling and burning shall be stopped, with some exceptions, such as whatever fuel is needed to allow every city to maintain a few helicopters for medical emergencies and stuff like that.

Corporate Personhood

Is a ridiculous idea and shall be abolished, along with all large corporations, which will all work much better for everyone as cooperatively-run, heavily-regulated institutions.

Duvets

The Duvet Act will subsidize European-style bedding for any household or hotel that wants it, because my government is convinced that if more Americans tried it, they'd like it. It's much more comfortable and more hygienic than sheets and blankets.

Economy

My administration will nationalize all banks and industries with more than 50 employees. All shareholders owning less than $5 million in stock will be compensated. All others will not, with some exceptions such as pension accounts. A $15 minimum wage will be instituted immediately. All stock exchanges will be henceforth abolished. All industries with more than 50 employees will be granted workplace democracy. The smaller ones can do what they want.

Education

My administration will propose an Equal Education for All Act, which will allocate federal funding for all the schools in the country, and rid the nation of the disparity in education quality by region that exists today. What is taught will be determined by teachers and students themselves. A fully-funded Year Abroad program will be introduced for all students in their junior year of high school, in order to introduce people in the US to the concept that there's a world out there, and to combat xenophobia and other forms of ignorance.

Fair Trade

My government's Fair Trade Act will mandate that the US withdraws from all “free trade” agreements made by previous plutocratic administrations. Effective oversight of labor and environmental practices of all trading partners will also be mandated, and international trade will only be allowed when workers are paid a living wage and operations are close to carbon neutral. Appropriate subsidies and tariffs will also be instituted in order to encourage local production and consumption of most things.

Foreign Policy

My administration will not give military aid to anyone. The CIA, NSA and similar spy agencies will be eliminated. We will no longer support dictatorships. We will follow a strict non-invention policy unless aid is requested, in which case we will send doctors, engineers, architects, builders, and useful people like that to do actually useful things, roughly following the Cuban model of foreign aid. We will engage in negotiations with governments and community organizations throughout the world to figure out together how we can, to whatever extent possible, repair damage we have done during the Dark Ages. Such as mitigating as much as possible the ongoing impact of Agent Orange in Vietnam or Depleted Uranium in Iraq.

Guns

Believing in the importance of the maintenance of a well-armed militia to defend the country against enemies foreign and domestic, my administration will propose to emulate the Cuban model of neighborhood defense committees. That is, privately-held guns will be universally taken out of circulation, but every neighborhood of a certain size will be responsible for the maintenance of an armory, to be accessed by trained members of the population in emergencies.

Health

The proliferation of safe, dedicated bicycle lanes throughout the country combined with the abolition of the use of pesticides, hormones or antibiotics in the growing of food and raising of farm animals will dramatically improve the health of the population. High-fructose corn syrup will of course be banned. Restaurants will be required to serve smaller portions of organic food made using fresh vegetables. The use of deep fat frying will be limited to the month of December, for the sake of nostalgia. The use of frozen food in restaurants, or any other food that comes in a box or a bag, will be banned.

Healthcare

The Single Payer Act will mandate that health care be free, on demand, paid for by taxation, like it is in civilized countries, the ranks of which the United States will now join.

Housing

Housing is a human right. As part of my Immediate Housing for All Act, all residents of the United States will be housed immediately. All bank-owned properties will be given away to people in need of housing. Property will be seized from any individual or corporation who owns more than five houses, and will be distributed to everybody else without compensation.

Immigration/Refugees

My government shall immediately propose a No One Is Illegal Act, making the US the haven for refugees that many in the country thought it was supposed to be. My government's immigration policy will be based entirely on the principle of reciprocity with concern to would-be immigrants who don't fall under the category of refugee. That is, our policies shall mirror the policies of the country of origin of each immigrant. If they welcome us, we welcome them. Simple, win-win.

Justice

Groups such as the Innocence Project shall receive a tremendous influx of resources in order to reevaluate the cases of everyone currently in prison for having committed violent offenses. Everyone currently in prison for nonviolent offenses shall be released, with the exception of corporate criminals and bankers who did things like invent the concept of subprime mortgages, who shall be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.

Marriage Equality

The Marriage Equality Act will mandate that all marriages between consenting adults be recognized by the government in every way, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, or the number of people involved.

Media

As part of my government's Media Democracy Act, no individual, corporation, or institution shall be allowed to own more than one media outlet. Local media will be required to employ local journalists, and will be subsidized through taxation to do that. All commercial advertising will be banned.

Military

As part of the End of Empire Act, the military will be disbanded. In the extremely unlikely event that any other military power in the world builds a force capable of invading a gigantic country with 300 million well-armed people in it, we'll whip their asses anyway. Meanwhile, we can save all those trillions of dollars, since they're used to support an outrageously bloated military establishment that primarily exists to serve the interests of oil companies and banks, which will be nationalized anyway. The savings of course will be reinvested into solar panels, windmills, high-speed rail, etc. The soldiers will be given the chance to work in these industries when they come home. All US military bases around the world will be cleaned up before being abandoned.

National Symbols

After the deaths of millions of innocent Iraqis, Afghans, Vietnamese, Laotians, Cambodians, Koreans and others, and after the legacy of slavery and genocide that founded this country, the US flag is drenched in way too much blood to have any useful purpose. Our government will solicit suggestions from a broad spectrum of US society and introduce a new flag. The White House will be returned to its original color (pink), in keeping with tradition in other nations of the Americas.

Policing

With an end to prohibition, police will have a lot less reason to harass people of color, youth, etc. However, that's just the beginning of my government's plans for the transformation of American society. To begin with, the Protect and Serve For Real Act will require that all police get extensive training in principles of Gandhian nonviolence and the historic role of police in racial discrimination in the US. Also, all law enforcement personnel will be required to live in the neighborhoods that they are policing, they will be disarmed, principally patrol on foot, and their ranks will be cut by about 90%, except in places like Wall Street, where they might be needed in greater numbers to fight real crime.

Prohibition

My administration will support an end to drug prohibition. All recreational drugs will be regulated just like pharmaceutical drugs. All Drug War Prisoners will be released and compensated.

Reparations

If the general redistributive policies of my administration fail to eliminate all measurable disparities between our people based on race, ethnicity, national origin, sexual orientation, gender, etc., then affirmative action programs will be instituted until those disparities no longer exist in any measurable form. After that we can start dealing with the disparities that can't be easily measured.

Torture

All forms of torture, including hitting children, keeping prisoners in cells, solitary confinement, force-feeding, water-boarding, factory farming, etc., will be banned immediately.

Transportation

Most roads will be shut down and turned into bicycle lanes, train tracks, parks or community gardens. My administration will embark on a massive project of building high-speed rail throughout the country. Flying and the use of internal combustion engines will be reserved for emergencies only.

Truth Commission

In the Truth Commission Act, my government will form a well-funded, professional commission of judges, investigators, and historians with full legal powers to bring to justice those among us still living who are responsible for war crimes and crimes against humanity, including but not limited to lying, thieving politicians from both major parties, as well as members of intelligence agencies and law enforcement agencies at every level, bankers, and corporate criminals responsible for destroying everything.