Anarchy in DC Now!
#RunWithRovics
This campaign is a work in progress.
What's clear is this: the world is upside-down, and we are going to
turn it rightside-up.
Agriculture
My administration's Farm Bill will
transform agriculture as we know it. The use of chemicals will be
abolished and the use of machinery seriously curtailed. Small family
and community organic farms will become the norm, enriching the soil
throughout the country until it's all as good as the soil in Homish
Country is now. This will be achieved through a combination of land
redistribution and a dramatic shift in the systems of subsidies and
taxation.
Art
By law, artists will be compensated for
actual airplay and receive royalties for gigs that they do. The
current system where only the biggest-selling artists get any of the
money will be abolished. Local subsidies will be established to
foster the growth and sustainability of music, art, theater, cinema,
etc. Street performance and public art of all kinds will be
encouraged and fostered.
Bribery
My government will pass a Money Is Not
Free Speech Act which will ban all financial contributions to
political campaigns. All candidates who get a certain number of
signatures may run for the office of their choice, and will receive
an allotted amount of money and air time with which to run their
campaign, which will be the same for each candidate, depending on the
office in question. Individuals or corporations attempting to
influence the political system through bribery (formerly known as
“lobbying” or “free speech”) will be prosecuted and
imprisoned for a long time.
Climate
My administration will embark on a
four-year plan to manufacture and distribute solar panels sufficient
to cover every rooftop in the country, and a windmill for every
neighborhood. (In densely-populated areas, the windmills can go on
top of the skyscrapers. It's nice and windy up there.) As solar
panel and windmill distribution gets under way, all coal, oil and
“natural gas” mining, drilling and burning shall be stopped, with
some exceptions, such as whatever fuel is needed to allow every city
to maintain a few helicopters for medical emergencies and stuff like
that.
Corporate Personhood
Is a ridiculous idea and shall be
abolished, along with all large corporations, which will all work
much better for everyone as cooperatively-run, heavily-regulated
institutions.
Duvets
The Duvet Act will subsidize
European-style bedding for any household or hotel that wants it,
because my government is convinced that if more Americans tried it,
they'd like it. It's much more comfortable and more hygienic than
sheets and blankets.
Economy
My administration will nationalize all
banks and industries with more than 50 employees. All shareholders
owning less than $5 million in stock will be compensated. All others
will not, with some exceptions such as pension accounts. A $15
minimum wage will be instituted immediately. All stock exchanges
will be henceforth abolished. All industries with more than 50
employees will be granted workplace democracy. The smaller ones can
do what they want.
Education
My administration will propose an Equal
Education for All Act, which will allocate federal funding for all
the schools in the country, and rid the nation of the disparity in
education quality by region that exists today. What is taught will
be determined by teachers and students themselves. A fully-funded
Year Abroad program will be introduced for all students in their
junior year of high school, in order to introduce people in the US to
the concept that there's a world out there, and to combat xenophobia
and other forms of ignorance.
Fair Trade
My government's Fair Trade Act will
mandate that the US withdraws from all “free trade” agreements
made by previous plutocratic administrations. Effective oversight of
labor and environmental practices of all trading partners will also
be mandated, and international trade will only be allowed when
workers are paid a living wage and operations are close to carbon
neutral. Appropriate subsidies and tariffs will also be instituted
in order to encourage local production and consumption of most
things.
Foreign Policy
My administration will not give
military aid to anyone. The CIA, NSA and similar spy agencies will
be eliminated. We will no longer support dictatorships. We will
follow a strict non-invention policy unless aid is requested, in
which case we will send doctors, engineers, architects, builders, and
useful people like that to do actually useful things, roughly
following the Cuban model of foreign aid. We will engage in
negotiations with governments and community organizations throughout
the world to figure out together how we can, to whatever extent
possible, repair damage we have done during the Dark Ages. Such as
mitigating as much as possible the ongoing impact of Agent Orange in
Vietnam or Depleted Uranium in Iraq.
Guns
Believing in the importance of the
maintenance of a well-armed militia to defend the country against
enemies foreign and domestic, my administration will propose to
emulate the Cuban model of neighborhood defense committees. That is,
privately-held guns will be universally taken out of circulation, but
every neighborhood of a certain size will be responsible for the
maintenance of an armory, to be accessed by trained members of the
population in emergencies.
Health
The proliferation of safe, dedicated
bicycle lanes throughout the country combined with the abolition of
the use of pesticides, hormones or antibiotics in the growing of food
and raising of farm animals will dramatically improve the health of
the population. High-fructose corn syrup will of course be banned.
Restaurants will be required to serve smaller portions of organic
food made using fresh vegetables. The use of deep fat frying will be
limited to the month of December, for the sake of nostalgia. The use
of frozen food in restaurants, or any other food that comes in a box
or a bag, will be banned.
Healthcare
The Single Payer Act will mandate that
health care be free, on demand, paid for by taxation, like it is in
civilized countries, the ranks of which the United States will now
join.
Housing
Housing is a human right. As part of
my Immediate Housing for All Act, all residents of the United States
will be housed immediately. All bank-owned properties will be given
away to people in need of housing. Property will be seized from any
individual or corporation who owns more than five houses, and will be
distributed to everybody else without compensation.
Immigration/Refugees
My government shall immediately propose
a No One Is Illegal Act, making the US the haven for refugees that
many in the country thought it was supposed to be. My government's
immigration policy will be based entirely on the principle of
reciprocity with concern to would-be immigrants who don't fall under
the category of refugee. That is, our policies shall mirror the
policies of the country of origin of each immigrant. If they welcome
us, we welcome them. Simple, win-win.
Justice
Groups such as the Innocence Project
shall receive a tremendous influx of resources in order to reevaluate
the cases of everyone currently in prison for having committed
violent offenses. Everyone currently in prison for nonviolent
offenses shall be released, with the exception of corporate criminals
and bankers who did things like invent the concept of subprime
mortgages, who shall be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.
Marriage Equality
The Marriage Equality Act will mandate
that all marriages between consenting adults be recognized by the
government in every way, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, or
the number of people involved.
Media
As part of my government's Media
Democracy Act, no individual, corporation, or institution shall be
allowed to own more than one media outlet. Local media will be
required to employ local journalists, and will be subsidized through
taxation to do that. All commercial advertising will be banned.
Military
As part of the End of Empire Act, the
military will be disbanded. In the extremely unlikely event that any
other military power in the world builds a force capable of invading
a gigantic country with 300 million well-armed people in it, we'll
whip their asses anyway. Meanwhile, we can save all those trillions
of dollars, since they're used to support an outrageously bloated
military establishment that primarily exists to serve the interests
of oil companies and banks, which will be nationalized anyway. The
savings of course will be reinvested into solar panels, windmills,
high-speed rail, etc. The soldiers will be given the chance to work
in these industries when they come home. All US military bases
around the world will be cleaned up before being abandoned.
National Symbols
After the deaths of millions of
innocent Iraqis, Afghans, Vietnamese, Laotians, Cambodians, Koreans
and others, and after the legacy of slavery and genocide that founded
this country, the US flag is drenched in way too much blood to have
any useful purpose. Our government will solicit suggestions from a
broad spectrum of US society and introduce a new flag. The White
House will be returned to its original color (pink), in keeping with
tradition in other nations of the Americas.
Policing
With an end to prohibition, police will
have a lot less reason to harass people of color, youth, etc.
However, that's just the beginning of my government's plans for the
transformation of American society. To begin with, the Protect and
Serve For Real Act will require that all police get extensive
training in principles of Gandhian nonviolence and the historic role
of police in racial discrimination in the US. Also, all law
enforcement personnel will be required to live in the neighborhoods
that they are policing, they will be disarmed, principally patrol on
foot, and their ranks will be cut by about 90%, except in places like
Wall Street, where they might be needed in greater numbers to fight
real crime.
Prohibition
My administration will support an end
to drug prohibition. All recreational drugs will be regulated just
like pharmaceutical drugs. All Drug War Prisoners will be released
and compensated.
Reparations
If the general redistributive policies
of my administration fail to eliminate all measurable disparities
between our people based on race, ethnicity, national origin, sexual
orientation, gender, etc., then affirmative action programs will be
instituted until those disparities no longer exist in any measurable
form. After that we can start dealing with the disparities that
can't be easily measured.
Torture
All forms of torture, including hitting
children, keeping prisoners in cells, solitary confinement,
force-feeding, water-boarding, factory farming, etc., will be banned
immediately.
Transportation
Most roads will be shut down and turned
into bicycle lanes, train tracks, parks or community gardens. My
administration will embark on a massive project of building
high-speed rail throughout the country. Flying and the use of
internal combustion engines will be reserved for emergencies only.
Truth Commission
In the Truth Commission Act, my
government will form a well-funded, professional commission of
judges, investigators, and historians with full legal powers to bring
to justice those among us still living who are responsible for war
crimes and crimes against humanity, including but not limited to
lying, thieving politicians from both major parties, as well as
members of intelligence agencies and law enforcement agencies at
every level, bankers, and corporate criminals responsible for
destroying everything.
