Europe Tour Booking Poem

The tour's coming along pretty well

But I wish I could have a gig in Hell

And then it would warm my little heart

If I could also play in downtown Stuttgart

I would feel so very slick

If I had a decent one in Reykjavik

It would lift my weary soul

To play again for the punks in Hull

I'd be the happiest boy in all the west

If I had a show in Budapest

I'll be in Ireland so it seems a pity

If I don't have one in Dublin City

I will kiss my little pinky

If I finally make it to Helsinki

It will be a good and happy day

When I land a gig in old Marseilles

In a fit of joy I'll polish my shoes

Should I also get to play Toulouse

I know I'd really love the scene

If I could make it back to Aberdeen

My face would fill up with a grin

If I had another concert in East Berlin

I'd be thrilled enough to sing and chirp

If I could play a folk club in Antwerp

I'd smoke a spliff upon the tram

If I had a paying gig in Amsterdam

I'd write home and call my dad

If I were invited to play Kaliningrad

There are few places I would rather be

Than in Aberystwyth or Swansea

Though I would no doubt flip my lid

To play in Barcelona or Madrid

And it would be awfully cool

To play for the longshoremen in Liverpool

Where I must really someday do a show

Is in the northern town of Orebro